One of these days, I’m going to get myself a pretty white dress and a decent ring to worth a lifelong vow of ‘I do’. Someday when I’m ready, I’m going to get married with myself.
Crazy, you think? Who would ever consider this absurd idea? I mean, why would anyone want to get tied on a life time commitment with themselves?
Have yourself asked the same question. Would you, someday maybe?
The other day I came across this article about self-marriage, and it had me enlightened about the idea. When I ask EP if she would, you know, given the option to get married with herself, she goes “… that charm (pity) meh? Get married with yourself??”
I asked LD the same question too, to which she question instead:
LD: So if you want to get married with someone else then, would that mean you have to divorce yourself off the marriage??
Now, the concept of self-marriage is a little different from the basic principles of marriage we all know. It’s not about signing the papers and promise to devote your entire life to yourself. Not quite.
Far from acknowledging your social standing rooted in bachelorhood with a mere ring on your finger, self-marriage is a meaningful vow of union of your ‘then’ version and ‘now’, a connecting bridge of your being as an individual toward becoming a wholesome, full-fledged adult in terms of emotional maturity, both mentally and spiritually. The finality of soul-searching in you ends here in completion of yourself.
You can be both self-married and attached at the same time, an ideal option before deciding on a marriage with your significant other. You can be thriving in your middle-age, or a person recently divorced from marriage, who choose to renew yourself through self-marriage as well.
Some have unknowingly gone through self-marriage themselves too at some point of their lives. So, self-marriage is not literally about marrying yourself for life sake, and certainly not only meant for stereotyped singles.
I did a bit of reading on the subject elsewhere. Interesting to note how it shifted my perception on the purpose of marriage: One has to seek within themselves to feel whole in order to manage a fulfilling life, and not expecting to find them in their significant other through marriage.
Now I’m thinking, if the former is the case, would it mean that marriage won’t be necessary at all in the first place?
A bit of an unconventional concept yes, but if you think about it, the idea is not something out of this world at all. Didn’t they say, that in order to love someone else, you’ve got to love yourself first? Self-marriage makes a good preparation to condition oneself to the reality of life time commitment and the challenges to come, readying yourself to take on the next phase of life.
It’s a self-explanatory conviction of your ‘I do’s’, for better or worse, for rich or for poor, in sickness and in health, and with this ring, I me wed.
Perhaps in time, I will.