I’m hiking on the pinnacle of my life, taking in the view from where I stand.
Got the job I wanted. Close enough to see myself doing for the next 2 years at most. For that, I’m truly thankful. The experience gained at my previous job, though not much to add to my job description, has been worth while.
I no longer lingered on those good old days at school just to be my comfortable self. I’m growing out of it, detaching my present from that dependent moment. I still continue to dream every night about meeting my old school mates and reminiscing a lot about how unpretentiously happy we were back then as kids, but times have changed. So do people. I bumped into one of my ex-mates who happens to be working at the same place, but he’s no longer a friend I use to know. I guess I’ll be okay with that, despite remembering how childish we were then fighting over Sarah Michelle Gellar poster.
I got to know myself better as a solid individual, where the part of you before school and after, was a completely different representation of you at that time. I didn’t understand that idea of transition at first, but gradually as the fog slowly lifted and the flow of things settled down I start to realise the need to pick up what’s left and move on, and now I’ll just put my focus on how I go about realising my dream castle into life, hopping on the path of those who shares the same vision along the process. It’s an enlightening thing.
Ever since I decided to quit my first job, I begin to commit myself into a phase of self-awareness, one that I’ve never experience before. I’ve once smelled death, and I’m very well aware of what the mind is capable of doing out of our deepest conscience. It can be a terrible picture, but I’ve discovered one thing out of this experience; the power of self-prayer is never to be underestimated. It’s a shame that most of us (past self included) turn to the higher being only when we’re lost, because the imaginary power is beyond what you might have read in The Secret or Law of attraction.
Love takes a lot of courage, because hurt is part and parcel of love and be loved. I’ve yet to find that courage again, because I threw the key away to the depths of sea once and now I need to fill the void of this heart of mine with something worth to compensate. Thankfully, family members and siblings are at near, but for how long? God knows, but I hope, enough to last at present. I’m loving the best and the worst of them, no matter how dysfunctional our family history can be.
If I were to describe it, mid-20s will belonged to an age group where ‘be yourself’ applies for people defining you as the black sheep. I like the black sheep analogy a lot, though it pays to be a whole you without being called after a hypocrite or narcissist or whatever terms to describe the state of self-indulgence. What, because I’m a human after all?
Last but not least, I’ll be getting more cryptic. It’s my way of balancing the day job.
Gorgeous puff of clouds on a sunny day of 17th September.
Here’s to a gorgeous year throughout to lovely buddy Angele who shares the same birthday as yours truly. HAPPY BIRTHDAY Angele! With many happy returns and hugs. 🙂