Self-marriage, anyone?

One of these days, I’m going to get myself a pretty white dress and a decent ring to worth a lifelong vow of ‘I do’. Someday when I’m ready, I’m going to get married with myself.

Huh.

Crazy, you think? Who would ever consider this absurd idea? I mean, why would anyone want to get tied on a life time commitment with themselves?

Have yourself asked the same question. Would you, someday maybe?

The other day I came across this article about self-marriage, and it had me enlightened about the idea. When I ask EP if she would, you know, given the option to get married with herself, she goes “… that charm (pity) meh? Get married with yourself??”

I asked LD the same question too, to which she question instead:

LD: So if you want to get married with someone else then, would that mean you have to divorce yourself off the marriage??

me: -_-”

Now, the concept of self-marriage is a little different from the basic principles of marriage we all know. It’s not about signing the papers and promise to devote your entire life to yourself. Not quite.

Far from acknowledging your social standing rooted in bachelorhood with a mere ring on your finger, self-marriage is a meaningful vow of union of your ‘then’ version and ‘now’, a connecting bridge of your being as an individual toward becoming a wholesome, full-fledged adult in terms of emotional maturity, both mentally and spiritually. The finality of soul-searching in you ends here in completion of yourself.

You can be both self-married and attached at the same time, an ideal option before deciding on a marriage with your significant other. You can be thriving in your middle-age, or a person recently divorced from marriage, who choose to renew yourself through self-marriage as well.

Some have unknowingly gone through self-marriage themselves too at some point of their lives. So, self-marriage is not literally about marrying yourself for life sake, and certainly not only meant for stereotyped singles.

I did a bit of reading on the subject elsewhere. Interesting to note how it shifted my perception on the purpose of marriage: One has to seek within themselves to feel whole in order to manage a fulfilling life, and not expecting to find them in their significant other through marriage.

Now I’m thinking, if the former is the case, would it mean that marriage won’t be necessary at all in the first place?

A bit of an unconventional concept yes, but if you think about it, the idea is not something out of this world at all. Didn’t they say, that in order to love someone else, you’ve got to love yourself first? Self-marriage makes a good preparation to condition oneself to the reality of life time commitment and the challenges to come, readying yourself to take on the next phase of life.

It’s a self-explanatory conviction of your ‘I do’s’, for better or worse, for rich or for poor, in sickness and in health, and with this ring, I me wed.

Perhaps in time, I will.

 

The eye(lids)

This morning I woke up with a double eyelid on my left eye. Surprise!! Just the left. Happens when I’ve not enough sleep, or when I had too much for a drink the other night.

Those who knew/met me out of blogosphere would know that I have single eyelids all my life. A single eyelidded Asian girl I am. Today I’m a half. So you can imagine how ‘uneven’ I looked in the upper eye.

I remembered about this Harpo programme I’ve watched long time ago on a killing-me-boring sunny afternoon, Opera… sorry Oprah I mean, and another Asian lady I-don’t-know-who (could be an author of a featured book in Oprah book club) were in the middle of some animated discussion about this beauty obsession that Asian women had with having double eyelids, to the extent that they would willing to go for… *went for a quick google* ah, blepharoplasty.

Yes, that’s right. Cosmetic eyelid surgery in layman’s term. Apparently they are different types of eyelid surgery too. Common ones are upper eyelid among Asians and this is no new news.

Want to know how it’s done? Got it here through a blogger’s link here who has written quite thoroughly on the subject.

Back to Opera.. sorry! Oprah. So Oprah was asking this lady, so what’s going on? What’s with all this obsession among Asian women on having double eyelids (and stuff)? *flapping arms around* Tell us.

And the lady brings the whole world watching and scooped us all back to her childhood yesteryears where her cousins use to come to her place on a family visit and she noticed how pretty they were and realized it’s because they have double eyelids and so she wants the same thing too for herself because she has single eyelids and she tried tapes, stuff… phew, what a wordful.

The point is, everyone in general thinks that double eyelids are beautiful. Especially to some of us Asians who are naturally born with single eyelids. Some say it’s a Westernized thing, some say it’s a supposedly natural thing to have, especially if you’re the only one having single eyelids in the family. The black sheep you.

But you know what, when I did a quick google run on the topic, reading what people are talking about this, I noticed something that points out how right that lady were when she told Oprah about what she thinks. Celebrity influence and peer pressure are among the reasons that people go crazy (what an uttah nonsense!) about having double eyelids, but here’s what I don’t understand… family is also included in the picture.

So what’s going on? What’s with all this BS; moms/aunts who picked pressured on single-eyelidded ones in the family to have double eyelids? That they’ll be more pretty (or normal) if a ’slit’ is added to the upper eye? I like mine just fine. Mom? Well she did sort of lamented once or twice about me and LD not taking after her (double-eyelidded) but why? Why double is always the winner?

Tell me.